You know that cliché that will eternally be tossed in the faces of new prospective homeowners? Yeah, that one: “LOCATION, LOCATION, LOCATION.”
Aside from being annoying, it’s actually kind of valid — most of the time, anyway. I suppose the key to any successful living situation does rely mostly on location-based-variables. Okay, touché, I guess.
However, for this piece, I’d like to focus on a less clichéd – but equally accurate – turn of phrase. It goes: “COMMUNICATION, COMMUNICATION, COMMUNICATION.”
And, yeah, that’s right folks, we’re talking about relationships. Relationships. You’re gonna want to communicate. Very much like the importance of location (with regard to buying a new apartment), the key to any successful relationship is good communication.
Hey, I love women – and I love their mysteries, too, just as much as the next man does – but sometimes it’s just impossible to understand the honest to God meaning of whatever it is they’re saying. Sure, a lot of times, men will be too dense to fully grip basic conversation. I mean, hey, it happens.
Other times, it feels like we’re just not speaking the same language. I’ve learned over time that there are certain occasions – veeeery rare occasions – where women say one thing and actually mean another.
Back in the day, when I was a young cuffer, I would always ask my girlfriend, “Babe, what do you want for dinner?” Every night she told me, “Baby, I want whatever you want.”
For months, I took her to the same little pub where we alternated between steak and specialty hamburgers — every f*cking time.
One month after we split ties, she starts posting Instagrams with 200+ likes and this new, state-of-the-art toned body. Clearly, it begged the question — and so did I. “[Insert name],” I said. “You look great, have u been training for marathons or what?” “No,” she texts me back. “I became a vegetarian.”
If I would’ve known she was thirsty to drop meat altogether in exchange for kale, quinoa, and some toned abs, I probably wouldn’t have dragged her ass to a pub with hoards of red, juicy meat for the final four months of our relationship. I guess you live and learn, right?
Here are eight more things women will say, and what they actually mean to the guy they’re directed at.
“I’m fine.”
When it’s used: Your girl says this when you ask her if she’s still mad about the argument you had last night.
What she really means: “What you said was so f*cking offensive and, to be honest – as a consequence – I’m going to upload a couple provocative TBTs and answer your text messages tersely for the next few days.”
What it means to a guy: “I’m fine.”
Synonyms: ”I’m good”; “All good”; “It’s fine”; “Don’t worry about it.”
“No, go have a fun night with your friends.”
When it’s used: Before a night out with your boys — without your girlfriend.
What she really means: “I’m not entirely sure how I feel about the prospect of you having fun, or any subdivision of it, without me, so, while I don’t necessarily want you to have a bad night, I doesn’t necessarily want you to have to fun, either.”
What it means to a guy: “No, go have a fun night with your friends.”
Synonyms: “Go see your boys”; “You should spend some time with your friends”; “I’m fine here.”
“Don’t worry, babe, I’m just going to have a ‘low key’ night with the girls.”
When it’s used: Before a night out with her girls — without you.
What she really means: “’Worrying’ definitely shouldn’t be ruled off tonight’s agenda, I’m probably going to go out clubbing. And, since I work for a startup and live in Manhattan, I’m also probably not going to turn down any free drink opportunities that present themselves.”
What it means to a guy: “Don’t worry babe, I’m just going to have a “‘low key’ night with the girls.”
Synonyms: “I’m just having a girls’ night”; “Girls’ night out.”
“Do you think this looks okay?”
When it’s used: Before/after a girl is trying on an outfit.
What she really means: “Okay, babe, here’s my outfit, and pretty much anything you say short of ‘stunning’ will simply be understated – and, between you and I, rude.”
What it means to a guy: “Do you think this looks okay?”
Synonyms: “Does this make me look fat?”; “How do I look?”
“Ew, he’s like my brother.”
When it’s used: In response to any implication of her having prior sexual relations.
What she really means: “Well, he is like my brother, but I’ve also had repeated bouts of casual sex with him in the past, texted after eclipsing a modest threshold of vodka and perpetually congratulate on small, insignificant achievements — all just to ensure that I remain betwixt the back burners of his brain. So yeah, I might love him. Like a brother, that is.”
What it means to a guy: “Ew, he’s like my brother.”
Synonyms: “We’re just friends”; “He went to my camp.”
“I’m not that drunk.” [through text]
When it’s used: When your girlfriend is out without you and she’s pissy drunk.
What she really means: “I handed my friend my phone to text you this because I tried typing ‘drunk’ about eight times and autocorrect kept replacing it with ‘Fuji’. So, yeah, I’m hammered and contemplating an array of poor choices. But I’m also thinking of you.”
What it means to a guy: “I’m not that drunk.”
Synonyms: “I barely even drank; “I’m sober”; “In nit tatto Fuji,”; “In know that Fuji”; “I’m not that Fuji.”
“I have a stomach ache.”
When it’s used: Usually sometime after a meal.
What she really means: “I succumbed to extra sour cream and cheese on my Chipotle earlier and I’ve been in and out of the bathroom all day. I actually feel fine, refreshed even, it’s just that your apartment is sort of small and the bathroom is utterly too close to your bedroom.”
What it means to a guy: “I have a stomach ache.”
Synonyms: “Uh, something came up”; “I don’t feel great”; “I’m in a food coma.”
“How do you know her?”
When it’s used: Directly after you interact with another lady in the presence of your girlfriend.
What she really means: “I saw you acknowledge that other female’s presence – do you want to have sex with her? Did you ever have sex with her? I think you had sex with her.”
What it means to a guy: Better start thinking of something…
Synonyms: “Who was that?”; “Do you think she’s hot?”; “Why were you looking at her?”
Photo Courtesy: We Heart It
source: http://elitedaily.com/humor/8-terms-women-use-mean-guys/802468/
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